Being Independent

I am proud to say that I have achieved my childhood dream: to be an independent woman.

Growing up, I was at my mother's side as she raised my brother and me. I witnessed and experienced a lot of her struggles as a single mother. She did her best to provide for my brother and me. After all, she made sure that we went to school, we were fed and that we had a roof over our heads. Anything else was really a luxury.

It was from her that I understood what it took to be an independent woman. And to summarize my understanding, it took three important things.

First: Not to depend on a man/ SO for my livelihood.

This one spoke for itself, and it rang loudly in my ears even at a young age. Ever since I understood what marriage was, I knew that it wasn't something I ever wanted. Everyone told me I was only saying that because I was young, but the whole marriage thing goes against my desire for independence. If I got married, then I would be depending on my husband for many things that would relate to my livelihood.

Though, now that I am independent and have been living on my own for the past 3 or 4 years, I understand the novelty of marriage. The idea of having someone there to unconditionally love, support and care for me does sound... dreamy. But I guess its a sacrifice for now. This, by no means, mean that I don't have anyone. There are many people in my life that I am super grateful for, and without them and their support I wouldn't be where I am today.

Second: Be literate, especially financially. Understand the value of money, and how to control it and yourself... especially yourself. My mom taught me that education is important in life, and I couldn't agree with her more on that matter. She said to me "Anyone can take anything away from you, but no one can take away your education." Those words opened my eyes to the value of being intelligent.

It doesn't take a smart person to know that money is the key to getting through life. It is the necessity that grants all other necessities such as: food, clothing, and shelter. Being independent, I learned to be disciplined with my income. I mean, when you're independent no one can tell you how to spend your hard-earned money, so learning self control is extremely important... and I mean reaaalllyy important. Every time I was able to tell myself no to the many things I wanted, I had to remind myself of my financial goals and bills. But there were times I splurged ;).

Third: In my opinion, this is the most important. Have goals, set your priorities, and NEVER GIVE UP! The reason I think this is the most important, is because my goals were like my north star and my priorities were like my steppingstones towards these goals. They guided me and gave me a sense of purpose.

When my goal was to become an independent woman, I established a bunch of smaller goals that were essential to achieving my independence. As the saying goes "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” But there were times that I felt as though the world weighed upon my shoulders. The pressures of being self sustaining without the immediacy of my friends and family were tough, but I had to keep reminding myself that I couldn't give up, because if I did then... what would I do? Giving up was simply not an option.

It takes a lot more than this to become independent, but I wouldn’t have known any of this nor would I have been where I am without my mom; she was the one who ignited the spark of my desire to be independent.

Sincerely,

Avita