In my previous entries, I wrote about how I felt as though we were merely traversing this world, I recounted the time I metaphorically became a cell phone, and I shared a bit of what brought me to where I am today.
When I started this blog a few weeks ago, I wasn't sure what it would be about. All I knew was, this was for an assignment and I will do my best. In fact, at the beginning of each entry I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what to blog about. I'd type a couple hundred words then erase it all and start over. This entry was no different.
I was on a video call with a friend bouncing ideas of what to blog about then, then my roommate chimed in and he said "...it doesn't matter anyway." His words sent my overthinking brain into action. I thought 'determining what matters' is like art, it is subjective. Then my brain went down a rabbit hole of what matters for a minute.
I took this blog assignment and I ran with it. I enjoyed creating and designing it. I enjoyed writing my thoughts in a way that made me comfortable with sharing them with the world. Though, my biggest challenge was sifting through my thoughts, feelings and opinions then determining which is worth sharing... which would matter and why they would matter. Then I thought to myself "why do I care? It's my blog, and it's a place where I shouldn't judge my thoughts"
Take this abstract, ink drawing I did for instance, I did not have a clue what to draw. So I took my pens and started scrawling on the page, I didn't think much about what I was doing or why I was doing it. I just knew that I wanted to see how the different pens would look together. While it is messy, with the different tones and scratches, it somehow pulls together nicely. It's almost as if it is a metaphor for my mind and how I see life. Is there a rule that states there always needs to be rhyme or reason?
This image of a page in my sketchbook may not be a magnificent work of art, but it does encompass the idea that the thoughts that circulates my mind isn't always cohesive and pretty. They tend to be dark at times, and I see life the same way. Life is a mess, it is a bunch of theories that is strung together to help me make sense of it, so that I may navigate it as best as I can. Life for sure isn't always pretty, but when everything is combined it somehow ties into this complex, magnificent work of art.
Sincerely,
Avita
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